Mr. Wright is not the best sharer.  What I mean by that is that he is constantly snarfing down my foodstuffs. 

Popcorn at the movies?  A whole bucket can be gone in moments.  Just opened chips?  Total inhalation.  Fries at McDonalds?  I never had a chance.  Don’t get me started on the sodas he regularly steals from under my nose.  You’ve got to be FAST around here.  We have had a few discussions about this issue.  He has lots of good reasons for his snarfing.

“I didn’t think you were hungry.”

“There’s more where this came from!”

“Oh, I didn’t see you sitting there!”

“Was this yours?  I thought it was mine.”

“You never eat it all anyway!”

Sometimes I wait around to see if he’s going to offer me something before he decimates it. 

Tonight he made a Totino’s pizza;  combination.  I have loved Totino’s combination pizzas since I was a wee toddler, and Mr. Wright knows this well.  I could smell it cooking and came out of the office to find…

No Totino’s.  Gone.  Nada.  No crumble of sausage or tiny bit of pepperoni.

I looked from him to the empty plate and he immediately looked sheepish.  After I punched him in the kidney I slumped back to the office Totino-less.

18 minutes later I heard the timer go off, but when I walked back into the kitchen this time…

Poor snarfer, he can’t help himself.  The tummy is big but the brain is tiny.