Mr. Wright is not the best sharer. What I mean by that is that he is constantly snarfing down my foodstuffs.
Popcorn at the movies? A whole bucket can be gone in moments. Just opened chips? Total inhalation. Fries at McDonalds? I never had a chance. Don’t get me started on the sodas he regularly steals from under my nose. You’ve got to be FAST around here. We have had a few discussions about this issue. He has lots of good reasons for his snarfing.
“I didn’t think you were hungry.”
“There’s more where this came from!”
“Oh, I didn’t see you sitting there!”
“Was this yours? I thought it was mine.”
“You never eat it all anyway!”
Sometimes I wait around to see if he’s going to offer me something before he decimates it.
Tonight he made a Totino’s pizza; combination. I have loved Totino’s combination pizzas since I was a wee toddler, and Mr. Wright knows this well. I could smell it cooking and came out of the office to find…
No Totino’s. Gone. Nada. No crumble of sausage or tiny bit of pepperoni.
I looked from him to the empty plate and he immediately looked sheepish. After I punched him in the kidney I slumped back to the office Totino-less.
18 minutes later I heard the timer go off, but when I walked back into the kitchen this time…
Poor snarfer, he can’t help himself. The tummy is big but the brain is tiny.