Snippets From High School: Meagan’s Story Part III

I had expected Meagan to be upset that I had told my mom about her pregnancy, but I was astonished that her attitude didn’t change toward me once she knew that my mom wouldn’t call hers.    

Being at school was a nightmare.  Somehow people found out, and naturally Meagan thought it was me that told.  She wouldn’t even look at me, much less let me explain that I would rather suck face with the drama nerd than tell people what happened. 

Meagan, Natalie and I had lockers directly across from each other.  Between every class I had to see them, with all of our shared friends clustered around Meagan.  Every once in a while someone would glare over at me and it became clear that she’d told some of our friends what happened.  Apparently they were all upset with me for spilling beans that one of them had spilt.

My first reaction to their rejection put me into a gloomy mood, but eventually my emotions evolved into anger and then indifference.  I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, and if Meagan’s reputation was tarnished it had nothing to do with me.  It took a little while, but young people are resilient, and things started to look up for me again.

I never talked to Meagan or anyone else about what happened to her.  Her physical appearance during the school year didn’t change, so of course I knew what her decision had been.  

A few years ago Meagan called me.  She wanted to know if I’d like to get together with Natalie and her for lunch sometime.  I was a little surprised but I told her I would.

When we saw each other it was like nothing had ever happened.  We reminisced and laughed about high school, and joked with each other about the silly things we’d done.  We talked about how ironic it was that I, the wild one, was happily married with children and they were both divorced. 

At one point I brought up senior year and how sad I had been that we weren’t friends that year.

Meagan raised her eyebrows and said, “What do you mean?”

“What do you mean, ‘What do I mean?’  You guys didn’t talk to me the whole year!”

“Huh?”

She didn’t remember!  How could this be?  How could she not remember how much pain her actions had caused me?  The answer was simple. 

She didn’t know.  She was oblivious to the fact that my life had been so drastically altered by her choices.  Because she never talked to me about it she couldn’t know that I didn’t tell everyone that she was pregnant, and she was so caught up in her own problem that I’m sure she hardly gave me a thought.  I probably should have insisted on talking to her about it, but at the time I couldn’t see past my anger.  She probably misinterpreted my silence for guilt.

I guess I could be bitter about what happened that year, and feel indignant that my friend’s bad judgment and disloyal attitude caused me so many problems.  But now as an adult I can only feel sadness for Meagan and the memories she’ll have of that year.