Blakers: My Favorite Five Year Old

B – “Mom, my body is different than other people’s bodies.”

M – “Oh really?  How is it different?”

B – “Well, it’s mainly a burping body.”

M – “Huh?”

B – “Yeah, after every time I eat or drink something, my body burps.”

M – “And you think that’s different from other people’s bodies?”

B – “Yes.  And that is true.”

I love this kid.  Please, someone invent a freezing machine so that my baby can stay in his five-year-old burping body forever.

The Long, Long Drought

Once again it’s been almost a year since I’ve written anything.  I think I wrote a post once called Consistently Inconsistent.  If that doesn’t perfectly summarize my journaling experience these past four or five years I’m not sure what does.  It’s comforting, right?  I’m super predictable.

Anyway, lots going on lately.  I must write it down because I could kick the bucket at any moment, and I would regret not writing down what was going on in my life before I did.  Because my children will not be whole unless they know that I spent the last few hours of my life baking delicious cookies for them.  Or maybe I was watching The Bachelor.  Whatever, they’ll want to know these things.

Let it begin.  Again.

 

{Lone, Lonely Loner}

Independence has always been one of my strong points.  I’m not a needy wife, parent or friend. 

I’m realizing that my perception of myself has either been a complete lie, or myself has drastically changed when I wasn’t looking.

I miss Mr. Wright terribly.  He’s in Africa and Europe for a month presenting to people who do not need him nearly as much as I do.  For a month.  And I’m home feeling weird and generally sort of stinky. 

It’s not a longing kind of miss, it’s more like a panicky, I’m MISSING something kind of miss.  I’m so used to feeling like I’ve got everything under control and that no matter what, things will work out.  The thing is, I’m noticing that a lot of those feelings of comfort and control come from being around Mr. Wright.

The man emanates stability and “I will fix it if it breaks”ness.  And me?  I seem to constantly be breaking things.  Sticking my foot in my mouth.  Locking my keys in my car (it’s happened TWICE in the last two weeks – once when Teek hit the lock button and the other when Carson did it.  Whatever, blaming the innocent makes me feel better). 

Did I not do these things as much when he was home, or was he always fixing me?  I’m really hoping that my feelings of anxiousness are a normal part of being separated from someone who’s shared my responsibilities for eleven years.  It can’t be that I’m a lunatic living with someone who walks around behind me with a dust pan and an apologetic smile.  It can’t be…  I’m like, very with-it.  At least I thought so until a few days ago.

What I’m trying to say is that I just don’t feel like Me when He’s not here.  Is that pathetic?  Codependant?  Maybe so.  I suppose it doesn’t matter, I’ll just forget I wrote this in a few hours anyway and skip along on my loony way.

Twelve days down, eighteen to go.

PS. I’m not the only one feeling weird and stinky.  Blakers tearily said yesterday, “I hope he doesn’t get dead in Africa from a bear.”  Me too Blake, me too.

PPS.  I’ve started carrying my gun in my pants like Clint Eastwood after the kids go to bed.  It’s not loaded, but I feel scarier with it.  Don’t judge.

{Your Village Keeps Calling…}

A few months back I took a trip to visit Sara, one of my Bff’s in Utah. 

This is one of those trips I tell Mr. Wright I need to go on so that I can run a marathon or something crazy, and then laugh maniacally as I plan my shopping trips.  {I really did think I was going to run a half marathon in a beautiful canyon in Ogden…it sold out before I could buy my ticket!  Who even knew that marathons sell out?  Dang running zealots.}

Anyway, because I will not use the toilet on the plane if I can help it, I ran to the girl’s room while I was at the airport waiting for my friend to pick me up.  The line was kind of long but moved quickly enough.

When I got into the stall I took my phone out of my pocket and set it on the toilet paper holder.  I like to carry my cell phone in my back pocket like a dude.  It does nothing for my butt, but it’s so much more convenient!

After I was finished in the bathroom and walking toward my gate I realized that I had left my brand new iPhone in the stall!  I walked and frantically worried that it would be too late by the time I got back to the stall.  But of course, this is Utah, right?  It’s like the honest and wholesome capital of the world.  The person would probably be waiting in there with a smile and my phone in hand. 

Nobody was waiting with my phone.  The bathroom had cleared out a little while I was gone, but when I got back to the stall I was in it was occupied.  I was slightly embarrassed, but I wanted my iPhone back worse than I wanted to salvage my {practically nonexistent} pride.

“Um, hi – excuse me?”  No answer.  Uh-oh.

Knock-knock,  “Excuse me, are you in there?”

What.”  This was not a question coming from the other side of the door.  This was ‘What the heck do you want?”

“Hi, I’m really sorry, but do you see an iPhone sitting on the toilet paper holder in there?”  I was being very polite and extremely apologetic.  I could have just waited until she was done, but weird face-to-face bathroom confrontations aren’t really my thing.

She was quiet for a few seconds and then replied, “So?”  

Ok, this woman obviously sees my cell phone sitting next to her {or for all I know it’s already in her purse} and she’s deciding what to tell me.  All kinds of scenarios start to rush through my brain.  Is this the kind of person that would confiscate my phone and then deny it?  I went to high school in a ghetto in California for a year.  I’ve seen all kinds of sketchy behavior, and I wouldn’t put anything past anybody.

It took me approximately 10 seconds to determine that this lady was not leaving the bathroom with my phone, even if I had to bodily search her for it.  Even if she was a 250 pound cage fighter.  I started tap-tap-tapping my foot under her stall so that she could see that I was getting perturbed with her little game.

tap-tap-tap “So you do see it, or you don’t see it?  Is it there?”  tap-tap-tap

“No, I don’t see it.”  Riiiight.  My phone magically disappeared in the one second between my stall visit and hers.   

So, I keep tapping under her door.  I sighed a couple of times to let her know that I. was. not. going. anywhere.  I planned my strategy for when she came out of the stall, which basically consisted of a stare-down and snatching away luggage or personal belongings until she gave my phone back.

She didn’t come out.  She was in there for a very long time. 

I started pacing back and forth and decided to go into the stall next to her to climb on the toilet.  You know, to look over and say hi.

When I got into the stall next to hers I saw my phone.  It was sitting on the toilet paper holder I had left it on five minutes before.

Oh snap. 

I immediately grabbed my phone and backed out of the bathroom giggling nervously and saying, “Oh, haha, I found it.  Funny thing, it was in the stall next to you!  Whoops!  I’ll just be going now.  Sorry!”

And then I scurried away.

Someone call my village, I’m ready to go back.

{Just An Update}

I know I’m supposed to be taking and posting photos of our new digs (because that’s what people want to see), but the fact is, it’s just not gonna happen until my house is put together.  Even after a month there are pictures that need to be hung. And I can’t hang pictures because there are no pictures to hang in them. 

We have no pictures because every time we’ve ever taken family photos my boys make me want to curse and have Mr. Wright fixed as soon as possible.  Nevermind that I am supposed to be a photographer.  Just nevermind.

So, in lieu of photos of the house, I will just say that I love Austin.  The sun is hot, the pool and lake are cool, and the people are friendly.  The only thing lacking is a Costco within acceptable proximity.  I NEED Costco. 

Other things of notable interest:

  • Our high school football team just lost their first game in a 48 game winning streak.  They are serious about football here.  I’m talking, you have to be shuttled to the game serious, because every parking lot and square inch of grass on campus has been parked on.  It’s…well, it’s actually very cool.  They have been state champs three years in a row.  The school pride is very endearing and surprisingly contagious!
  • Although we are missing our friends and Nana (and favorite babysitters) something fierce, we are definitely making do here.  We FINALLY went on a date after more than two months of NO DATING.  None, nada, zilch.  I thought I would go mad, I tell you, maaaaaad!
  • We have some friends to hang out with now, and they have produced our new awesome babysitter!  Bonus, she lives right down the street!  Yes!!!  There will be at least some dating going on, although Mr. Wright has us on financial lockdown for the time-being.  I hate financial lockdown.
  • There are definitely bugs here.  Most of them don’t bother me, but I’ve heard from lots of people that scorpions get into their houses every once in a while.  I will definitely be screaming like a girl and running like a pansy if I see a freaking scorpion in my house.  I did get a chigger in my sock, but that was just itchy and annoying.  No big.
  • Did I mention I got a puppy?  Yes, well.  We had to put a cat bell on the puppy because he follows us everywhere (I do not exaggerate) and he is constantly being punted around the house by large unsuspecting puppy tramplers.  Note to puppy: You should not walk under people’s feet when you weigh less than two pounds. 
  •  The boys have started school, which will be its own post as soon as I get around to not being lazy. 
  • Also in its own post will be about how I have decided to venture into wedding photography, how I’m a nervous wreck about it, and about how Mr. Wright had a small seizure when I bought all the equipment I needed.  No worries, he seems to be recovering nicely. 

If you’re reading this, it’s probably because you are my friend or family member – and that means I am missing you. 

Hugs from Texas my loves!

{I just realized this is my 200th entry – look at me with my bad self!}

{He Didn’t Stand a Chance}

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Mr. Wright does not want a dog.  He’s been saying that since we gave our last naughty dog away to people who were much better naughty dog owners. 

Our poor sweet Emma just couldn’t help herself.  She peed on the carpet.  She ate entire 9×13 pans of fudge off of the table.  She bolted EVERY time you opened the door.  She chewed up, ate, and demolished anything in her path.  She was a naughty Beagle that just needed way more attention and training than we could give her.  We loved her dearly, but we knew our limits and gave her to a family who adored her.

Unfortunately, Mr. Wright has been Mr. Anti Dog since Emma lived at our house.  He’s insisted that “we are not dog people and will never have another dog”.  And every time he’s said it, I have said, “We will absolutely have another dog someday.  When Blake is four.”

Blake turned four last Sunday.

This is Teek:

Teek is an eight week old Shih Tzu, weighs 1.5 pounds, and is the most darling lump of perfection that I have ever had the honor of carrying in my purse.  We named him after an Ewok in Star Wars. 

I know, right?  I see a Halloween costume in his future.

And guess who fights with me about who gets Teek during the day?  Yep, Mr. Anti Dog himself.  He’s hopelessly smitten by the lump of perfection.  People, he has conversations with him.  He loves the dog as much as the boys and I do and he’s not even afraid to admit it. 

I know there’s a lesson in here somewhere.  It could be that you should never give up on your dreams.  But more likely it’s that if you want a puppy you should just bring it home and deal with the consequences later. 

May the force be with you.

{I Don’t Know My Address}

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Actually, I don’t know my head from a hole in the ground, but hey, it’s sunny! 

We’ve been five people in a hotel room for two weeks today.  And we’re going to be five people in a hotel room for another three weeks.  It’s not so bad, really.  The swimming pool saves us, and there is great shopping all around.  Lucky for Mr. Wright, because he’s trying to work during the day from the crazy hotel room.  The kids and I normally take off after lunch and don’t come back until dinner time to save his poor, frail, diminishing sanity. 

The small people are very noisy.  I didn’t realize how noisy three boys are until I was trapped in a two room prison with them day and night.  We had to move to a different hotel after the first night because we needed a ground floor unit to save the people below us from becoming deaf.  We found that our boys tiptoe loudly.  They whisper loudly.  Heaven forbid they laugh or crawl on the ground. 

Herds of elephants and buffalo running for their lives from screaming natives make less noise.

Anyway.  We think the chaos will end in three weeks.  We have an amazing house lined up in an amazing estate neighborhood in The Hills.  The city really is just called “The Hills”.  I foresee an MTV reality show in my future.  “The Real Desperate Housewives of The Hills, Yeehaw Edition”.  Catchy, yes?

I love the house and the neighborhood, but what I really love is the backyard.  It’s a half-acre of Copacabanaland.  I just can’t get over the fact that we are actually going to have a fun backyard and a pool.  And sun to play in.  Sun.  Suuuuuuun!  And, this being Texas and all, there are two built-in smokers in the back!  I have no idea what to do with them yet, but believe you me, it won’t take but a minute. 

Now we just have to get the lovely woman we’re getting the house from to GET THE HECK OUT!

{let me punch you in the kidney}

Mr. Wright is not the best sharer.  What I mean by that is that he is constantly snarfing down my foodstuffs. 

Popcorn at the movies?  A whole bucket can be gone in moments.  Just opened chips?  Total inhalation.  Fries at McDonalds?  I never had a chance.  Don’t get me started on the sodas he regularly steals from under my nose.  You’ve got to be FAST around here.  We have had a few discussions about this issue.  He has lots of good reasons for his snarfing.

“I didn’t think you were hungry.”

“There’s more where this came from!”

“Oh, I didn’t see you sitting there!”

“Was this yours?  I thought it was mine.”

“You never eat it all anyway!”

Sometimes I wait around to see if he’s going to offer me something before he decimates it. 

Tonight he made a Totino’s pizza;  combination.  I have loved Totino’s combination pizzas since I was a wee toddler, and Mr. Wright knows this well.  I could smell it cooking and came out of the office to find…

No Totino’s.  Gone.  Nada.  No crumble of sausage or tiny bit of pepperoni.

I looked from him to the empty plate and he immediately looked sheepish.  After I punched him in the kidney I slumped back to the office Totino-less.

18 minutes later I heard the timer go off, but when I walked back into the kitchen this time…

Poor snarfer, he can’t help himself.  The tummy is big but the brain is tiny.

{dream kitchens}

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I’ve decided to start keeping a record of rooms and home features I love so that when we build our house we have ideas.  There are SO many different styles I love – I need to start narrowing it down!  If you have stuff to add put a link in the comments, I’d love to see them! 

 

I love the vaulted ceilings in this one.

This is all I could come up with this late at night.  Now all I need is a fairy godmother to make this come true.

{it’s funzy}

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Today was Mom-in-law’s birthday.  We got her a webcam so that we can Skype with her on a regular basis. 

We kept saying, “Oh, the kids are gonna LOVE this”. 

And then we found these little buttons that do crazy things to your pictures.  We sat up until 1 am talking to our friends over the internet.  I’m now officially a Skyper.

How’d you like this coming over the miles to you?  You know you wanna Skype with me…

 

 

 

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